Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Not Quite Malaise

I’ve been feeling rather off today. Not my usual self. I get those days every once in a while where I have this indescribable feeling, almost like malaise, but not quite as blue. I have been trying to shake it off and become my normal happy, smiling, chipper self, but today it’s just not working. I have a feeling its mostly because of stress and trying to keep my head above water. There are just so many things I need to get done or go do, but I feel like I’m just running myself ragged. 

I cooked yesterday for the first time in a while and it sure felt good. I’m almost getting this keeping my kitchen clean thing under control, all the while the rest of my place looks like a tornado hit. I’m really looking forward to going home and enjoying a plate of beef stroganoff before I hit the books. I needed the comfort food and to be in a comforting place.

My apartment has slowly become my home. I have felt adrift for so long after moving from one place to another every year for so long. This was the first time I'd ever stayed in one place for more than a year since I left my parents' and its taken me about a year and a half before I felt comfortable and at home. There was a long period of time where I was gone a lot just simply because I didn't know how to enjoy my home. I am finally at the place where I'd rather be home than anywhere else. I can't tell you how good that feels.

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