I am learning to let go of their judgments, their criticisms. They sting so harshly, even when I know they come from a place of low self-esteem and hurting. I know that instinctively they don't mean to harm, and in some ways they think they are doing good, but they are just hurting me, the one person they are supposed not to.
I'm learning compassion towards people that are highly critical, because they must be hurting so badly to act so mean. I'm learning that in moments of weakness and doubt, I can become that highly critical person and I must try so hard not to be.
I'm angry and upset and I need to set boundaries. I've set boundaries with several judgmental people by removing them from my life, but I need to set boundaries with all.
In other news, I did not get accepted in to the Masters of Nutrition program at UW, and surprisingly I wasn't that upset about it. So now on to Plan B (which has really been Plan A all along, which I wish I had had the courage to do when I was in college): culinary school.
Two years of learning new skills, doing the thing I love: cooking.
I'm so excited about it. I was hesitant to send an email asking to speak with a counselor in order to enter the program, and I couldn't figure out why. Today I figured it out. It was because I was afraid of the judgment of some people. The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. I dreamed of going to culinary school from the day I graduated high school. All through college, all I wanted to do was drop out and go to culinary school. The whole time I was working in a job I hated, a job that made me miserable, I wanted to quit and go to culinary school.
So now I'm doing it. I'm going. If anything, it's to just do something I've been wanting to do for a long time.